My English Professor is a very picky grader. He looks at every detail. He proofread a couple of my pages and his feedback to me was as follows:
-shouldn’t use media as an example.
– used “it” “they” as subject. He wouldn’t know who I was talking about
– 1st paragraph was too long
– thesis statement was ok
– he didn’t want the example of how American tv influenced the test of the world. he said to only talk about the effect television has on Americans
– the flow of the paper was not easy to follow
– my statements had to be backed up by examples
-he didn’t like my example of social bias
-when I wrote about something effecting another he said I need to state how they were effected
I also need my last paragraph finished. I think mine sounds like a rewrite of the first paragraph, which is wrong. also a title for the essay.
he wants us to use our own examples from tv. please feel free to change the examples I have.
we also need two quotes total from two esaays that we have read in class. here are the links to the essays. I do have two quotes but you can change them as you see fit.
https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2010-oct-17-la-ca-tv-friendships-20101017-story.html
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~DRBR/parenti.html
I will attach a copy of my essay along with the essay handout instructions from my professor.
Please message me if you need additional information.
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