Im studying for my English class and need an explanation.
hi this is the assignment and there is some announcements about the assignments you might fix to make better
this is after the professor corecect it
You’ve got a nice draft forming here, but I’d like to make some recommendations for revision. The most important thing you need to focus on is restructuring your paper. Right now your paper “leisurely unfolds” in the sense that a lot of space is given to thinking about NGOs and then the Bujagali Dam. Think in terms of compression and focus.
1. Notice that you don’t begin talking about the Bujagali Dam project until halfway through the paper. You want to be talking about NGOs, IRN, AES, and the Bujagali Dam project from the beginning. The idea is to combine all the sets of questions into one seamless narrative.
2. Many of the details about NGOs can be cut or compressed. Make sure everything connects to the Bujagali Dam.
3. Here’s my advice for how to structure your paper.
some of the principles of your ideas from the first half (about NGOs). Cite harder numbers in your analysis and point to specific passages or details in the graphs and charts provided in the case study.
You’ve got a great collection of ideas here — the next stage is to organize, combine, and cite.
Hope that helps! Let me know if you have any further questions
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